Offline
In Case of Blizzard, Do Nothing
In the winter of 1985 my hometown, Buffalo, was engulfed in a blizzard — not an uncommon occurrence for the region, which is justly famed for epic snows. But this was a big one, and the city’s blustery Irish-American mayor, Jimmy Griffin, was at pains to persuade people to stop trying to go about their business as conditions deteriorated. He urged Buffalonians to “relax, stay inside and grab a six-pack,” which must be the best advice any elected official ever gave the public in an emergency situation.
There’s something cartoonish about the menace of a blizzard, in which nature’s wrath assumes a fluffy, roly-poly form and tries to kill you. It’s the meteorological equivalent of getting smothered in Tribbles, or attacked by the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. And yet, kill it does, via car accidents and heart attacks and other misadventures, usually involving people trying, unwisely, to do something.
Mr. Griffin, henceforth known as Jimmy Six-Pack, understood this. The Snow Gods reserve special contempt for those who don’t respect their ability to bring human activity to a standstill. The snow cares not for your deadlines, your happy hour plans, your scheduled C-section. It wants only to fall on the ground and lie there. And it wants you to, too.
Needless to say, you should. Unless you’re a plow driver or a parka-clad elected official trying to look essential, one doesn’t pretend to do battle against a blizzard. You submit. Surrender. Hunker down. A snowstorm rewards indolence and punishes the go-getters, which is only one of the many reasons it’s the best natural disaster there is.
Jimmy Six-Pack also understood that snow functions as an arbiter of government effectiveness. (He stayed in office for 16 years.) In New York City, Mayor John Lindsay’s lax response to a 1969 storm forever dinged his political fortunes. Cities need blizzards every few years to flush out incompetents, expose incipient dysfunction and generally stress-test the fabric of civilization. Like war, illness and poker, snow ruthlessly reveals true character.
And, gloriously if briefly, it hides everything else — the plastic grocery bags and mini-marts and dog poop and salt-grimed Toyotas and sundry disorder of modernity. Watching the quotidian American crudscape transform into a fairy-tale kingdom is a legitimate wonder. Name another disaster that leaves the afflicted region more attractive in its wake.
I’ve never quite lost my amazement at this phenomenon, the suddenness with which the familiar vanishes and a new, better landscape appears. Time has partly buried my childhood memories of Buffalo’s mighty blizzard of 1977, but I still recall the hallucinogenic dislocation of the great drifts that climbed over houses, the spectacle of a world made thrillingly new. It’s a vision that seems freshly haunting now, as we face the dread prospect of a climate changed by human appetites — the future winters, soggy and snowless, that await us all. Before it’s too late, let us all now pause, perhaps over a six-pack, and bear witness as the climate changes us.
Offline
Hey, Lager, what are you pouring in this blizzard?
Offline
Cheer up. At least you aren't facing this problem!
Offline
Do nothing?
Quarter of a century of country living at the end of a football field length lane has taught me that waiting until the snow is finished is an invitation to disaster.
I can handle 6-7 inches with my garden tractor plow. I can handle about 15 inches with the two stage tractor-mounted snowthrower.
This morning was just about a cluster f-bomb because I had done no plowing Friday night and began with at least 16 - 18 inches. Snow like that just spills over and behind the blade making it useless for angle plowing. The mounted snowthrower tractor got stuck at one point and I had to hand shovel it free.
Plan is to hit it again at about 4 PM; then wait until dawn Sunday for the final assault.
As for libations: Nothing until the evening plowing is done. Gotta be sober as a judge More or less. Need to settle down for a short winter's (afternoon) nap so a glass of "turning" cider is in hand.
Afterward? Troegs "Blizzard of Hops" and something from the Sam Adams IPA sampler. Maybe finish off with a Wyndridge Barn Dog.
Offline
Lots of beer, food, heat and electricity here, I'm good. I'm not cool with lizards. F*** lizards. Except iguanas, geckos and chameleons. They're pretty cool.
Last edited by Tarnation (1/23/2016 2:09 pm)
Offline
That's what I wish WGAL and other local TV stations would do -- Nothing!
The only thing piled deeper than the snow is their incessant reporting on the snow with reporters standing along the road at a gas station, phone interviews with some public official tallying up the number of snowplow trucks on the road, and wide eyed blathering by the 'chief meteorologist' about how many inches we have and are likely to get. Enough already! We all know it's snowing! It's time to get back to regular programming and end their excessively boring coverage of winter storm Jonas. I can look out my window and see what's happening, I don't need somebody on TV for 12 straight hours telling me it's snowing.
Offline
Agree 100%. They do this with every type of storm and are especially all out for snow storms. I stop watching hours ago when Joe Calhoun came on. His blathering on and on drives me nuts even on their nightly evening news reports. I think he loves hearing him self yak away. He's gone but how I wish Doug Allen was still at WGAL-TV.
Offline
The worst part is that we'll have to watch promos done by the TV station for the next 6 months crowing about how they provided this public service to all of us with wall to wall coverage of the severe winter storm Jonas, with more reporters in the field and 18 solid hours of on air, on line, and on my nerves reporting, all for the purpose of 'keeping you safe".
Maybe they think this over the top, ad nauseum, weather reporting will garner them a local Emmy in some obscure category that they can brag about and bad mouth their competitors.
Offline
Yep. I've thought many times that local tv stations no longer have enough news material to fill their 1.5 hour news casts. Consequently, we are constantly bombarded by their excessive numbers of self promos, over the top, far-too-long and much too frequent weather reports, over-the-top graphics and all the frequent commercials. I also wonder why everything is BREAKING NEWS long after the event occurred. Yet WGAL-TV apparently is able to win lots of Emmys!