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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Calling the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” Senator John McCain on Thursday proposed military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA once and for all.
”“These are people who only understand one thing: force,” McCain said on the floor of the United States Senate.
“We must make FIFA taste the vengeful might and fury of the United States military.
”McCain said that he was “completely unimpressed” by the Department of Justice’s arrests of several top FIFA lieutenants this week, calling the action “the kind of Band-Aid solution that this Administration, sadly, has become famous for.
”“Rounding up a few flunkies in a hotel is meaningless when the leader of FIFA remains at large,” he said. “I will follow Sepp Blatter to the gates of Hell.”McCain requested a four-billion-dollar aid package for moderate elements within global soccer, and said that the United States should be prepared to put boots on the ground in Switzerland.
Last edited by Just Fred (5/31/2015 5:51 pm)
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Jack Warner -- Indicted Ex-FIFA Official -- Cites Article In 'The Onion' To Rip U.S.
Sunday, May 31, 2015 1:52 pmWritten by: ThePostGame Staff
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Former FIFA vice president Jack Warner from Trinidad and Tobago was among the 14 officials charged in the Justice Department's investigation into global soccer corruption last week. On Sunday, Warner posted a video on Facebook to assert his innocence and rip the United States.
To bolster his case, Warner tried to expose the U.S. of being guilty of a double standard. His proof? An article published in the wake of the indictments titled FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States.
"If FIFA is so bad, why is it the USA wants to keep the FIFA World Cup?" Warner says on the video while holding a printout of the article.
The problem? The article is from The Onion, the satirical website.
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Gotta love the Onion and Andy Borowitz.
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Can you imagine what Lindset Graham will do to FIFA?