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6/30/2017 9:34 am  #1


Anxiety & School

First post.

Today I looked back through one of my school journals. I realised that I never really described much. I did find one about a teacher calling on me, though. This has happened many times.

See, I'm not a social butterfly. I'm a... well... social outcast. Being surrounded by people is a nightmare. They could be judging me or making fun of me. Being put on the spot is also a nightmare in school.

Here is a story:

I was in school. Normal day. Come back from lunch. My pencil is gone. I never lose things, so this was weird. The teacher started a math lesson. We had to write things down. Do I steal the pencil from the desk next to me? Do I interrupt the lesson? Do I do nothing?

I immediately panicked. It seemed like ages, contemplating what to do. Then, someone says something.

"Why are you not writing this down?"

Teacher. That made me more panicked. I managed to say a few words, breathing fast
"I have no pencil..."

By this time, every person was looking at me like I was nuts. Was I nuts? Not that I noticed.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR ONE!! HERE WE ARE, HALFWAY THROUGH THE MATH LESSON, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING WRITTEN DOWN!! YOU COULD'VE JUST ASKED! WHY DIDN'T YOU?" The teacher yells.

"I was too afraid... to ask for one..." I say, about to cry. Embarrassing!

The teacher tosses me a pencil and continues. The rest of the week, I didn't say a word. I sat alone at recess and at lunch.

End of story.

...Which got me thinking: Why would a teacher purposely put a socially 0% confident person on the spot? She could've just given me a pencil without making a scene.

Or did I make a scene for not asking for one?

I think it was both of us. But maybe it was completely me. That's for you to decide. I decided that the teacher was at fault because I didn't lose the pencil. Someone took it, I found it on the floor the next day.

Also, the teacher rolled her eyes at me while she handed me the pencil. Hey, maybe she'll find a brain back there. Haha.

There is more to school and teachers that makes me mad. Being called on.

The music teacher loved to embarrass me.

Take a shy, socially awkward person and put them in the eye of 20+ judgemental kids. Bad.

If teachers want me to "come out of my shell" (Am I a turtle?) and talk more, they can leave me alone. I view their whole "shell" insult as an... insult. Take someone with no confidence and tell them to act like they have some? Not happening.

People always told me over the years that I'd become more social. Has that happened? No way. I've become less social over time. Not good. And I know that over time, social pressure will escalate. Also not good.

I mean, social pressure is already terrible. How could it get worse? Ugh. 😒

I need food now. Had no food yet today.

Feel free to add your bad work/school experiences to this topic.

Byebyes ~


Minds are like parachutes - they work best when open.
 

6/30/2017 9:41 am  #2


Re: Anxiety & School

Wow.  And honest-to-gosh real new member!

Welcome to The New Exchange!  


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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6/30/2017 9:47 am  #3


Re: Anxiety & School

Kittenea wrote:

First post.



...Which got me thinking: Why would a teacher purposely put a socially 0% confident person on the spot? She could've just given me a pencil without making a scene.



Byebyes ~

I agree.  That teacher's response was waaaaayyy over the top.

I sometimes get the feeling that few, if any, people have any real empathy anymore.  Look around during your day.  Look at how people interact.

Conversations consist of everyone talking and no one listening.

The ability to feel what others feel has been lost...if we ever had it.

I hope you didn't have this jackass for too many clases.  


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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6/30/2017 11:26 am  #4


Re: Anxiety & School

Welcome to the exchange!
And thanks for your post.

When I think back on high school I can't help reflecting on the strict orthodoxy the kids imposed.
And, sadly, how too many teachers fed into it.
Anybody who was the least bit different was picked on by the conformers.
Shy kids, most of all. But, if you were physically disabled, awkward, not so smart, or even too smart.

I was a quiet, bookish, too smart kid. I'm not bragging. I didn't do anything special to earn my IQ. I was just born this way. Lucky for me I played a varsity sport, earning me a modicum of acceptance from the masses. So, I got nothing to complain about.

But, what an eye-opening experience college was. Much more open to differences and free of tribalism.


We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists. 
 

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