1 of 1- Goose
- Cogito ergo sum
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- Registered: 1/29/2015
- Posts: 13,427
Is Rationing Coming?
The Goose News Service
On Sunday Donald Trump alleged - without presenting evidence - that protesters demanding he release his tax returns were being paid by unnamed entities.
Trump goes after tax returns protests
In the past Trump has also alleged - without proof - that millions of illegals voted for Clinton in 2016, that the crowd watching his inauguration was the largest in history, that President Obama had wiretapped him, that Obama was born in Kenya, and so on, and on, and on.
After Sunday's tweet the National Academy of Science warned that the nation's supply of Bullsh*t was nearly exhausted. Bullsh*t, a once abundant substance in the US, has been reduced in the first hundred days of the Trump Presidency to a mere 9% of historical levels.
Experts warn that at the current rate of Bullsh*tting by the new president, the nation could run out of bullsh*t well before the next Congressional election, a period of peak use.
Airlines, and Cable providers warned that the lack of bullsh*t could interfere with their business models. Even middle aged men holding down bar stools could be affected.
Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) called on the President to bullsh*t only on even numbered days.The administration refused. Press Secretary Sean Spicer responded that, "Bullsh*tting is essential to this administration, and we will use it on a daily, even hourly basis. Senator Warren is playing politics, here and trying to cripple this administration".
A reporter asked the secretary if they might consider just being truthful. Spicer's response was drowned out by hysterical laughter.
Environmentalists warned of the planetary consequences of the use of so much bovine excrement, and called for laws requiring conservation of the resource, and suggested switching to abundant alternatives, such as chickensh*t.
The suggestion was condemned by Senator Rand Paul saying that big government solutions were no substitute for the free market.
On Monday President Trump will sign an Executive Order instructing the EPA to remove all rules regulating the acquisition of the valued substance. "We are in a crisis", the President said, "And we cannot allow job killing regulations on bullsh*t endanger this country".
When asked about allowing male Mexican Bovines to immigrate to the US, the President ruled that out.
"This great nation can meet the demand for bullsh*t on it's own. I will create yuge piles of the stuff. Believe me".
Other nations who have historically held large supplies of bullsh*t, such as North Korea are reinforcing their borders as a precaution.
Last edited by Goose (4/17/2017 7:02 am)
We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists.