07/21/2017

 The mood is at peace.

 It's been far too long since I've felt this.

 It's official. I'm now a retired caseworker. I still keep getting these frenetic feelings, as if I should be doing...something. That's the rub. There is no something. It's just motion for motion's sake. And I'm done with that.

 I will move.

 At a time, a place, and a pace I choose. It's kind of a heady feeling having total control of my own destiny. Free to make the choices I had to set aside. Free to try and be an author. Free to try to be a good mentor.

 Nice Wendy went with me to my retirement counseling appointment.

 Good thing because it's been forever since I've been in a real city. I was wandering down the block staring up at the buildings. It's amazing! They have glass and steel and brick buildings reaching for the sky.

 Just an aside, I still think the federal building is hideous. No form, just function. Check it out for yourselves.

 I've been writing stories.

 I'm rusty. Very rusty. The last time I wrote anything that wasn't Journal or a bumper-sticker type observation was about ten years ago. I wrote one complete short-story so far. It takes place in the world I am building with my protege.

 Before I'd gotten back to first page I'd discovered either punctuation errors (I'm horrible at this) or things that didn't make sense to the story but should have. I was already ready to edit.

 There's a problem with editing.

 I have to do it on paper. Trying to edit something without having it in my hands is a 'blind spot' thing. It's something I'm not capable of understanding so I had to craft an alternative process. I do all of the text with extra line spacing then I hand-write the changes I want to make.

 So, “printer” is first on the list of stuff to replace. It's been so long since I used mine that all of the ink had drained and dried and just clogged up everything because I never used it.

 I discovered the most amazing thing when I started college. I had stories to tell. Fiction or non-fiction, I discovered I could express the emotion I was never able to express before. I was taught by some very talented people. Even wrote well enough to win someone's heart.

 I miss crafting stories.

 This is what I'll be for a time. See where it goes.

 Wherever that is, I'm okay with it.

 Thanks for listening.

From someone else who has retired from one thing and considered my options.  Don't jump into something else right away.  Sit back, take stock in your life, follow your heart.  Consider volunteering for something you believe in.  In my case, I volunteer to usher in my local theater ........ I get to see some great performances, meet new friends, etc.  I bought a bike and ride bike trails once or twice a week.  I joined the 'Y' and work out a couple mornings each week.

The point is, there are many opportunities to feel useful and make a difference not simply in your own life, but in the lives of others.  You can do it!  You will.

Last edited by Just Fred (7/24/2017 3:38 pm)

I plan to wander around and soak things up.

Take a road trip or two...or three.

Tarnation wrote:

Goose wrote:

Great advice, Fred.
We are all so much more than what we do (or did) for a living.

There is a vast difference between what we do and who we are.

What we do is just one slice of the pie of life.

Nobody says on their deathbed, "I wish i'd spent more time at the office."
 

So true.
From one of my favorite stories of all time:

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,' faltered Scrooge

Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

Last edited by Goose (7/25/2017 4:51 am)

07/28/2017

 The mood is calm.

 I just got back from dinner with my friend Rick.

 Rick's the first friend I've spent any time with since I decided to retire apart from Nice Wendy. It was nice talking the retirement decision out with someone who's listening, who is not judging, and not questioning the wisdom behind the decision.

 The word success came up a few times in the conversation.

 All of my life, people have been telling me I must succeed. Achieve success. One of the serious relationships in my life, my girlfriend said “You will be successful.”

 The emphasis was on the word 'will' not 'you'. You WILL be successful. And, in all these years, I never once took the time to ask the most important question in my life:

 What is successful? At what point have I “made it”?

 So I started thinking about what success really is. I mean, there are people out there who have more money than most countries. They have everything anyone could ever want. Yet if you presented an opportunity to get more stuff they'd jump on it.

 Why?

 So I asked myself what I consider success. It all came down to this:

 I would like not to be in need. I would like to be able to order a pizza between paydays. I would like to be safe and secure. I would like to have friends. I would like to not be afraid of what the future holds.

 And that was the whole thing right there.

 I want to enjoy the life I have while I have it.

 Not spend my life afraid of the future.

 That's success.

 And I am successful. 

 Thanks for listening