An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."




C'mon now . . . All of us senior citizens have had trouble opening a jar at some point.

Last edited by Rongone (3/27/2015 11:33 am)

Father O'brien was late for mass and driving very fast thru Boston when he rear-ends a man stopped at a red light.
Father O'brien, and the man, a Mr. Smith get out, exchange licenses and wait for the police.

A cruiser arrives and a large red faced officer gets out.
"Officer Murphy!" cries the father.
"Father O'brien," the cops says as he hugs the priest. "Are you all right".
"Yes, my son", says the priest, "Just a bit shaken up."
"Thank God", says the officer. "You have a seat in my car,and after we clean up this mess I'm taking home for dinner".
The priest goes off.

Mr. Smith, looking rather uneasy asks, "You know the father well?"
"Oh yes indeed, sir. Father O'brien has been my Parish priest for thirty years. In fact, that wonderful man has baptized all of my children".

"Guess I'm screwed then", says Mr. Smith sadly.

"Now, there will be none of that", Says Officer Murphy. "I'll have you know that the Boston police department plays no favorites. I promise you that my investigation will be fair and impartial, Lad."

"So, just relax and tell me how fast you were going when you backed into the father",,,,,,

Last edited by Goose (4/15/2015 3:20 pm)