1 - Goose
- Cogito ergo sum
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- Registered: 1/29/2015
- Posts: 13,427
Post a Joke
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer,,,, and a mop."
We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists.
- Conspiracy Theory
- Dark Overlord
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- From: Earth
- Registered: 1/30/2015
- Posts: 1,396
Re: Post a Joke
A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"
If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.
-Me again
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- Rongone
- Sentient Being
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- From: Keeping Calm, Sailing On
- Registered: 1/31/2015
- Posts: 2,872
Re: Post a Joke
An African-American, a Rabbi, a Priest, a Nun, a Pollock, a Blonde, and a Russian walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
- tennyson
- Exchanger
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- Posts: 6,654
Re: Post a Joke
Blonde Joke to End all Blonde Jokes
A blonde speeder is pulled over by a blonde police officer.
The blonde cop says "I need to see your license". The blonde driver digs through her purse for awhile, and says "I can't find it. What does it look like?".
So the cop, making a rectangle with her hands, says "it's rectangular, and has your picture on it". The blonde driver searches through her purse but can't find it. She finally comes up with the only rectangular item, a small mirror.
She looks at it, shrugs, and hands it to the blonde cop. The blonde cop looks at it, shrugs, and hands it back to the blonde driver. "Oh, you can go" the blonde cop says.
"I didn't realize you were a cop".
Last edited by tennyson (3/01/2015 11:29 am)
"Do not confuse motion and progress, A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress"
- Goose
- Cogito ergo sum
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- Registered: 1/29/2015
- Posts: 13,427
Re: Post a Joke
An Irish Priest is driving rather erratically, and a policeman pulls him over.
"Have you been drinking, father?" the policeman asked.
"Just this water", the priest replied, gesturing to a bottle beside him.
The officer, suspicious, picks up the bottle and sniffs it.
"Sir, this is wine", he says.
"Praise the lord" screams the priest. "He's done it again!"
Last edited by Goose (3/26/2015 4:14 pm)
We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists.
- •
Thread Starter- Goose
- Cogito ergo sum
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- Registered: 1/29/2015
- Posts: 13,427
Re: Post a Joke
Why are there so many tree lined streets in Paris.
Because Germans like to march in the shade.
We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists.
- •
Thread Starter- Conspiracy Theory
- Dark Overlord
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- From: Earth
- Registered: 1/30/2015
- Posts: 1,396
Re: Post a Joke
Goose wrote:
An Irish Priest is driving rather erratically, and a policeman pulls him over.
"Have you been drinking, father?" the policeman asked.
"Just this water", the priest replied, gesturing to a bottle beside him.
The officer, suspicious, picks up the bottle and sniffs it.
"Sir, this is wine", he says.
"Praise the lord" screams the priest. "He's done it again!"
If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.
-Me again
---------------------------------------------
- Conspiracy Theory
- Dark Overlord
Offline
- From: Earth
- Registered: 1/30/2015
- Posts: 1,396
Re: Post a Joke
A pair of British vicars are driving through Romania in the middle of the night when, suddenly, a vampire leaps out in front of their car.
"Quick, show him your cross!" one says.
The other leans out the window and screams "Get out the the road you stupid bastard!"
If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.
-Me again
---------------------------------------------
- Conspiracy Theory
- Dark Overlord
Offline
- From: Earth
- Registered: 1/30/2015
- Posts: 1,396
Re: Post a Joke
Two friends are camping out. Just as they're settling in for the night, they see a grizzly bear coming straight toward their tent.
One guy starts to put his sneakers on.
The other looks at him, stunned, and says "You can't outrun a grizzly bear!"
The first guy replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear."
If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.
-Me again
---------------------------------------------
- Goose
- Cogito ergo sum
Offline
- Registered: 1/29/2015
- Posts: 13,427
Re: Post a Joke
A pair of British vicars are driving through Romania in the middle of the night when, suddenly, a vampire leaps out in front of their car.
"Quick, show him your cross!" one says.
The other leans out the window and screams "Get out the the road you stupid bastard!"
We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists.
- •
Thread Starter