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7/21/2017 3:38 pm  #461


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

07/21/2017

 The mood is at peace.

 It's been far too long since I've felt this.

 It's official. I'm now a retired caseworker. I still keep getting these frenetic feelings, as if I should be doing...something. That's the rub. There is no something. It's just motion for motion's sake. And I'm done with that.

 I will move.

 At a time, a place, and a pace I choose. It's kind of a heady feeling having total control of my own destiny. Free to make the choices I had to set aside. Free to try and be an author. Free to try to be a good mentor.

 Nice Wendy went with me to my retirement counseling appointment.

 Good thing because it's been forever since I've been in a real city. I was wandering down the block staring up at the buildings. It's amazing! They have glass and steel and brick buildings reaching for the sky.

 Just an aside, I still think the federal building is hideous. No form, just function. Check it out for yourselves.

 I've been writing stories.

 I'm rusty. Very rusty. The last time I wrote anything that wasn't Journal or a bumper-sticker type observation was about ten years ago. I wrote one complete short-story so far. It takes place in the world I am building with my protege.

 Before I'd gotten back to first page I'd discovered either punctuation errors (I'm horrible at this) or things that didn't make sense to the story but should have. I was already ready to edit.

 There's a problem with editing.

 I have to do it on paper. Trying to edit something without having it in my hands is a 'blind spot' thing. It's something I'm not capable of understanding so I had to craft an alternative process. I do all of the text with extra line spacing then I hand-write the changes I want to make.

 So, “printer” is first on the list of stuff to replace. It's been so long since I used mine that all of the ink had drained and dried and just clogged up everything because I never used it.

 I discovered the most amazing thing when I started college. I had stories to tell. Fiction or non-fiction, I discovered I could express the emotion I was never able to express before. I was taught by some very talented people. Even wrote well enough to win someone's heart.

 I miss crafting stories.

 This is what I'll be for a time. See where it goes.

 Wherever that is, I'm okay with it.

 Thanks for listening.


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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7/24/2017 12:10 pm  #462


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

07/24/2017

 The mood is good.

 I just got home from my group therapy session. There were more than two people this time (myself and one other last time apart from the Dr) so it was much more interesting.

 At the beginning of each session, the doctor goes around the room and asks who would like to speak today to set an agenda. This started me thinking just how much things have changed in just two weeks.

 I'm talking about life-changing things.

 The group session before this one was the first time I'd said, straight-out, to another person that I'd made a decision and I intended to retire. In the subsequent fourteen days, I turned in my resignation and picked up my stuff from my desk, went to my retirement counseling appointment, and received a determination from the VA regarding my disability rating increase.

 The trip to the office to resign was cathartic.

 I was still beating myself up about leaving all of the work. I really wanted to just sneak in and sneak out but I went just after lunchtime on Friday. When I ran into my coworkers, all they were concerned about was my well-being. The work never entered into it.

 This is pretty much the biggest reason I loved my job.

 Because of the size of the office, we were divided into specialized units. One of the things I learned in the military was that troops are divided into units not only for management purposes but because a group of people who are assigned a common task form closer bonds than those who work individually.

 The net result is a group of coworkers who care about each-other.

 There may not be a relationship of any kind outside the office but inside it's a different world. A better world, as far as I was concerned. So the job of resigning and picking up my stuff was both nostalgic and poignant.

 The trip to the State Employee's Retirement System (SERS) counseling appointment was fun!

 I was in a sort of other-worldly state because I was exhausted. I didn't sleep much the night before because I couldn't stay still. It wasn't nervousness, more excitement. Like the night before Christmas.

 Nice Wendy took the day off to come with me.

 I didn't have to bring anyone along. I'd been there once before to retire so I knew where the office was and how to get there. But Nice is my bestie and I like having her along for things like this. As a bonus, she has free parking in a building two blocks from the SERS building and she knew how to get there.

 Nice met me at Sheetz on South Queen Street and she drove my car.

 I usually insist she drive my car because it's higher off the ground and easier to get in and out of. I actually ask her to drive because her car is kinda beat-up and she really digs driving something brand new.

 She gets a kick out of it and I get some quality time with my bestie, everyone's happy.

 The last pleasant surprise was the rating increase request from the VA.

 I had called back in May to make the request and had gone to an appointment for it. I was told a determination could take until March of next year. This one came back just last week and it was approved.

 So of all of the variables ahead of me, at least three of them have been settled.

 In the interim, I'm enjoying having no responsibilities. No schedule. No clocks making demands.

 I had said before that I was mortally tired. This was meant to express a weariness of both body and spirit.

 But both are well rested now.

 And both are eager to experience the world of the Daytime People.

 Everything is as it should be.

 Thanks for listening.


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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     Thread Starter
 

7/24/2017 3:37 pm  #463


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

From someone else who has retired from one thing and considered my options.  Don't jump into something else right away.  Sit back, take stock in your life, follow your heart.  Consider volunteering for something you believe in.  In my case, I volunteer to usher in my local theater ........ I get to see some great performances, meet new friends, etc.  I bought a bike and ride bike trails once or twice a week.  I joined the 'Y' and work out a couple mornings each week.

The point is, there are many opportunities to feel useful and make a difference not simply in your own life, but in the lives of others.  You can do it!  You will.

Last edited by Just Fred (7/24/2017 3:38 pm)

 

7/24/2017 3:42 pm  #464


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

Great advice, Fred.
We are all so much more than what we do (or did) for a living.


We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists. 
 

7/24/2017 7:15 pm  #465


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

I plan to wander around and soak things up.

Take a road trip or two...or three.


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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     Thread Starter
 

7/24/2017 8:30 pm  #466


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

Goose wrote:

Great advice, Fred.
We are all so much more than what we do (or did) for a living.

There is a vast difference between what we do and who we are.

What we do is just one slice of the pie of life.

Nobody says on their deathbed, "I wish i'd spent more time at the office."
 


Life is an Orthros.
 

7/25/2017 4:49 am  #467


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

Tarnation wrote:

Goose wrote:

Great advice, Fred.
We are all so much more than what we do (or did) for a living.

There is a vast difference between what we do and who we are.

What we do is just one slice of the pie of life.

Nobody says on their deathbed, "I wish i'd spent more time at the office."
 

So true.
From one of my favorite stories of all time:


“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,' faltered Scrooge

Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!

Last edited by Goose (7/25/2017 4:51 am)


We live in a time in which decent and otherwise sensible people are surrendering too easily to the hectoring of morons or extremists. 
 

7/26/2017 7:33 pm  #468


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

Question number 12:

 You are at a fish market and are suddenly seized by the overwhelming need to grab a whole flounder by the tail, slap the person next to you with it, then run away. You should:

 A: Resist the urge and go about your day.

 B: Give in to the urge....YOLO, right?

 C: Remind yourself that you're supposed to take the medication every day, not just the one time.

 D: Remind yourself that you're not supposed to take the medication for the entire day all at once.

 E: All of the above.

 F: None of the above.

 G: How many fricken answers are there any way??

 


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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     Thread Starter
 

7/28/2017 7:10 pm  #469


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

07/28/2017

 The mood is calm.

 I just got back from dinner with my friend Rick.

 Rick's the first friend I've spent any time with since I decided to retire apart from Nice Wendy. It was nice talking the retirement decision out with someone who's listening, who is not judging, and not questioning the wisdom behind the decision.

 The word success came up a few times in the conversation.

 All of my life, people have been telling me I must succeed. Achieve success. One of the serious relationships in my life, my girlfriend said “You will be successful.”

 The emphasis was on the word 'will' not 'you'. You WILL be successful. And, in all these years, I never once took the time to ask the most important question in my life:

 What is successful? At what point have I “made it”?

 So I started thinking about what success really is. I mean, there are people out there who have more money than most countries. They have everything anyone could ever want. Yet if you presented an opportunity to get more stuff they'd jump on it.

 Why?

 So I asked myself what I consider success. It all came down to this:

 I would like not to be in need. I would like to be able to order a pizza between paydays. I would like to be safe and secure. I would like to have friends. I would like to not be afraid of what the future holds.

 And that was the whole thing right there.

 I want to enjoy the life I have while I have it.

 Not spend my life afraid of the future.

 That's success.

 And I am successful. 

 Thanks for listening


If you make yourself miserable trying to make others happy that means everyone is miserable.

-Me again

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     Thread Starter
 

7/29/2017 9:29 am  #470


Re: The Random Thoughts Thread

Great wisdom, CT!

At lot of folks have trouble confusing need with greed.  Need is pretty basic, and when we are satified by having those basic needs met, we're doing very well.  Physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The Apostle Paul wrote something similar to his protege Timothy: 

"But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

Last edited by Tarnation (7/29/2017 10:30 am)


Life is an Orthros.
 

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